A tough December.

December turned into a really tough month.  My sweet and spicy little handicapped aunt Robyn became ill at the beginning of the month and passed away on December 7th.  We had one last day with her where a lot of the family was able to visit and say goodbye.  It was heartbreaking and difficult.  She was so tiny in her hospital bed and it was hard to keep a smile for her.  But she was awake quite a bit and smiled at everyone and got mad when I took her picture.  It is still hard for me to think that she is gone.  It's like losing the main character of our family sitcom.  We will never be the same without her and I am constantly reminded of her when I see a handicapped adult at the grocery store or when Charlotte sings Up On The Housetop.

I had the really special opportunity of doing Robyn's hair after she passed and it's something I'll never forget.  I arrived at the funeral home before anyone else and was led into the room with her body.  Immediately I broke down into tears.  How was I supposed to do this?  She was so tiny and so still, and her face so relaxed and different.  I stood there in the quiet for a minute and just talked to her.  Soon after, my mom and Francene and Lisa arrived and I was there while they dressed her and it was a really wonderful thing to be a part of.  We laughed and we cried and I tried to stay in the background a bit so my mom and her sisters could be together.  I loved watching them interact and joke and have some sweet and some bittersweet remembrances.

 

The morning of the funeral we were all geared up to be strong and then in walked Robyn's friends from work.  All of these sweet sweet amazing handicapped adults who she spent so much time with.  They were loud and funny and sad and matter of fact all at the same time.  And each of them claimed to be Robyn's best friend.  What sweet people; I mourned all over again for their loss.  The funeral service was really nice.  Perfect actually.  Perfect music, perfect talks, and there are so many Robyn memories that we could have gone on and on.  

Being raised with this special aunt was an interesting thing for me and my siblings and cousins.  As children we learned to navigate around her to sneak into her room and play with all her treasures and steal Bubblicious out of her underwear drawer and listen to her records.  We used to pretend to eat like her, holding our hand steady with our other hand.  We couldn't wait to be taller than she was.  We always trick or treated with Robyn when we lived nearby and she was popular at each and every door we went to, stealing the show big time.  We loved riding her big three wheeled tricycle through the neighborhood and sitting on the front porch with her enjoying a Pepsi.  When we got a little older she withstood our teasing and our noise.  "Susan your kids are bugging me!" 

XOXO Robyn.