Plural.

Story time!  For Christmas I wanted to get my children the Fisher Price Loving Family dollhouse.  It’s adorable.  They play with it at my sister-in-law’s house and they love it.  They love little dolls, figurines, crap like that.  I knew it would get tons of play here at our house.



This dollhouse is kind of expensive.  You buy the house and it comes with a couple of furnishings, but a lot of the stuff you buy separately and it adds up.  So I turned to eBay to see if I could find a deal.  I thought it would be very green of me to give my kids used toys.  So green, no?  Saving the planet people.  It’s what it’s all about.  (Also saving like a hundred dollars.  That kind of came into play as well.)

So I found some dollhouses for sale, ones that came with buckets of furniture and extra dolls and dogs and minivans and the whole nine freakin’ yards.  One seller in particular caught my eye because their account said they lived in Panguitch, Utah.  Wahoo!!  My people are from Panguitch!  Also, I had procrastinated a teensy bit so I knew that it would be quick shipping from within my very own pretty great state.

I bought, I paypal-ed, and I anxiously waited for my package.  And I was right.  It arrived with tremendous speed.  It was in a huge box and the return address didn’t say Panguitch.  It said…


Colorado City, Arizona.



Polygamy central.  Like freaky Warren Jeffs polygamy central.

Court’s first instinct?  “We’re gonna have to really clean this dollhouse before we give it to our kids.  Are we stocked up on Clorox wipes?”

Oh yeah, you’re totally right honey.  Because polygamy is extremely contagious.  (Thank you Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.)

My first instinct?  “How many moms do you think are in this box?”






Two.  Count em’: two moms.  Oh I know one of them has very youthful pigtails, but look at her; same body, same outfit, same necklace, same boobs, same size, same exact face as the other one.  The pigtails just indicate that she is the young hot trophy wife (age 17).  And doesn’t that dad look nice and smug and happy?





So we’ve got one dad, two moms, four kids, three dogs and a very groovy minivan. And I sure hope Court isn’t getting any ideas.