How I went from very shy to less shy.

I was telling one of my clients recently that I used to be shy and she all but fell out of the chair she was so shocked. I don't even really think of myself as an outgoing person now, which got me thinking that I am suffering from some personality dysmorphia disorder (I just made that up).

Several months ago I went to a miniature high school reunion of sorts. There were probably about 15 of us there, plus some spouses and significant others. I was really excited to go, but seriously so nervous about it I nearly made myself ill. I have this weird conception that people from high school aren't going to recognize me or know who I am because I feel so different from that girl that I'm sure I'm completely unrecognizable (and it's not because I'm a slightly fluffier and more wrinkled version of 17 year old Kate). I am surprised when people say to me that I'm just the same, or that I haven't changed a bit. Really? I really do feel that different. Like there is no remainder of teenage Kate left in me. My teenage years were so traumatic for my family that I just don't even remember myself from that time, I don't remember what I was like. I also suffered from terrible insomnia all through high school. I used to just lie awake until about 3:00 every single dang morning. Shoot, how did I even survive? Thank goodness I'll never have to relive those years. Maybe I wasn't ever really shy per se, but I definitely wasn't as assertive as I now am. I allowed one idiotic situation to take place for almost a whole school year that I really shouldn't have. Ah, live and learn.

What I learned from this little high school reunion party is that I am recognizable and that I must have been kind of fun to be around. I hope so! I just hardly even remember. I also learned that I shouldn't be so horrified of seeing old friends. It was quite a lot of fun!