Awake and thinking.

One of my sweet friends had such a sad loss today and while I'm awake and sad for her and thinking about her I just need to write a few things down.  I just need to say that I do not take for granted the sweet daughters that I have.  I have been feeling selfish today for ever complaining about how hard Victoria was as a new baby, or for being mad that Charlotte has decided to wake up at 5:00 every morning.  I don't take for granted my ability to bear children.  I don't take for granted their healthy arrivals.  I don't take for granted that I get to be around their sweet spirits and funny personalities every day.  I have many friends who would give their right eye to be pregnant, have a fussy 7 month old, have a sassy toddler, whatever.  I have friends who would love to experience morning sickness, and heartburn, and stretch marks, and Braxton Hicks contractions.  Who probably wouldn't even really mind staying up all night to soothe their fussy newborn.  I hope I can be more sensitive.  And I hope Jeanne knows how much I look up to her and admire her grace and strength.